You know you're old when...
Happy Hour is a nap.
People tell you how good you look.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
Your back goes out more than you do.
Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
An "All-Nighter" means not getting up to pee.
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
There are fewer things you are willing to wait in line for.
Almost everything hurts & what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
You're told to slow down by your doctor and not the police.
You no longer consider staying under the speed limit a challenge.
You go to the museum and the guards keep trying to put you back on display.
You cut down a tree and you find you have more wrinkles then the tree has rings.
You sit in a chair & realize after a while it's not the chair squeaking- it's your back!
You lean down to pick something up off the floor, and then ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you're down there.
You can relate to the Seven Dwarfs of Old Age: Nappy, Wrinkly, Squinty, Rocky, Saggy, Leaky, and Farty!
Taking your morning pills takes longer than eating your pancakes and sausage.
You don't think about dying because it's the last thing you want to do.
You live each day as it was your last. You'll get it right someday.
Getting old is not so bad when you consider the alternative.
You search online for "You Know You're Old When..." jokes.
Old Jokes
~ for laffs ;-> Originally started by Ole 63 - 'Hey, ladies. Get with the program'
Moderator: Super Moderators
Return to “Laugh a bit with Ole 68”
Jump to
- ON THE AIR ~ AM/FM/XM RADIO
- ↳ Art Bell's Midnight in the Desert
- ↳ Art Bell Classic Shows & Somewhere in Time Chat
- ↳ Art Bell Archive
- ↳ Art Bell Archive 12-2001 to 5-2002
- ↳ Fantastic Forum 'Original Radio Room'
- ↳ Art Bell/The New Frontier
- ↳ Dreamland ~ Whitley Strieber
- ↳ George Noory/C2C AM Topics/Radio topics
- ↳ Ian Punnett/Saturday Host
- ↳ George Knapp/C2C Sunday Host
- ↳ John B. Wells Caravan To Midnight
- ↳ Ham Radio/DXing
- Ship's Galley
- ↳ FFPirates on Twitter
- ↳ Announcements/ FYI
- ↳ Rapa - from the Ship's Archives
- ↳ Ship's Galley ~ Fantastic Forum Community
- ↳ The Crow's Nest
- ↳ First Time Posters Thread
- ↳ Laugh a bit with Ole 68
- ↳ Garden & Galley
- The Starboard Tack
- ↳ UFO
- ↳ Quantum Physics/Edge Science
- ↳ Paranormal
- ↳ Ancient Archaeology
- ↳ John Lear Archive
- ↳ Conspiracies/Black Ops
- USA
- ↳ Economy
- ↳ Media Watch
- ↳ Energy Policy
- ↳ American Survival
- The Blue Planet...
- ↳ Awakening of global consciousness
- ↳ The Natural World
- ↳ News from a parallel universe
- ↳ Environment in Crisis
- ↳ All Creatures Great and Small
- NEWS BREAK
- ↳ Alt News Blog
- ↳ National
- ↳ Global
- ↳ Weird Nooz
- SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY
- ↳ FF IT Tech
- ↳ Earth/ Weather/ Climate
- ↳ Health
- ↳ Astronomy/ NASA/Physics
- ↳ Technology
- ↳ Chemtrails
- ↳ The 10th Planet
- FANTASTIC PUB
- ↳ The Brig
- ↳ Politics and Government 2014 - Present
- ↳ Food
- ↳ The Murky Bilge
- ↳ Music
- ↳ Religion/Metaphysics
- ↳ Philosophy
- ↳ Books, Documentaries, Movies, TV Shows
- ↳ USS TEXAS - BB35 Archive
- ↳ Poetry Forum
- ↳ Pirates and Skeptics -P&G, etc
- ↳ Photography
- SETI @ home
- ↳ FANTASTIC FORUM ~ SETi Team
- ↳ Team Art Bell
- Archive
- ↳ Third Party Candidates - 2004
- ↳ USA Archive
- ↳ Various
- ↳ Who Needs eBay?
- ↳ Iraq
- ↳ Politics and Government 2010-2013
- ↳ MAD'S Mali Journal
- ↳ Wild Card Thread
- ↳ Bush/Cheney '04 Campaign
- ↳ William Henry ~ Stargates in the Age of Tara
- ↳ Hemp Industry
- ↳ We the People
- ↳ Politics and Government 2004-2009
- ↳ Lost Harbour & Dry Dock
- ↳ Fantastic Forum Productions
- ↳ Star Trek Forum
- ↳ USS TEXAS ~ BB 35 Restoration/Preservation Project
- ↳ Politics and Government Pre-2007
- ↳ Fantastic Forum - Editor's Cut