* Read The Label First! *

~ for laffs ;-> Originally started by Ole 63 - 'Hey, ladies. Get with the program'

Moderator: Super Moderators

Post Reply
User avatar
Riddick
Pirate
Posts: 15706
Joined: 11-01-2002 03:00 AM
Location: Heartland USA
Contact:

* Read The Label First! *

Post by Riddick » 04-23-2021 03:44 PM

WARNING:
* The following message may offend people with a poorly developed sense of humor. Reading is not recommended unless accompanied by a funnybone
_____

In case you needed further proof of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible, these are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

ON A HAIRDRYER:
* Do not use while sleeping.

ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
* You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:
* Directions: Use like regular soap.

FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION:
* Defrost.

ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX:
* Fits one head.

ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESSERT:
* Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:
* Product will be hot after heating.

ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:
* Do not iron clothes on body.

ON BOOTS' CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE:
* Do not drive car or operate machinery.

ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
* Warning: May cause drowsiness.

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:
* Warning: Keep out of children.

ON A STRING OF CHINESE-MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
* For indoor or outdoor use only.

ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:
* Not to be used for the other use.

ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS:
* Warning: contains nuts.

ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES' PACKET OF NUTS:
* Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

ON A LAUNDRY DETERGENT BOTTLE:
* Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.

ON A BOTTLE OF RUM:
* Open bottle before drinking.

ON A TOILET CLEANING BRUSH:
* Do not use orally.

ON A TV REMOTE:
* Not dishwasher safe.

ON A BLOWTORCH:
* Not used for drying hair.

ON A BOTTLE OF HAIR DYE:
* Do not use as an ice cream topping.

ON A BOX OF FIREWORKS:
* Do not put in mouth.

ON A TOASTER:
* Do not use underwater.

ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:
* Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

ON A MATTRESS:
* Do not attempt to swallow.

Post Reply

Return to “Laugh a bit with Ole 68”