Joke Thread In Honor of Old 68
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Re: Joke Thread In Honor of Old 68
That is a great post Riddick Insanity, the New Normal!
KARMA RULES
Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities, Can Make You Commit Atrocities': Voltaire
Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities, Can Make You Commit Atrocities': Voltaire
Wisconsin Jokes
Wisconsin, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town’s population.
Why is cellphone reception so good in Wisconsin?
Even the smallest towns have at least 4 bars
Why do trees in Wisconsin lean south East?
Because the Bears suck and the Vikings blow
How do you know it's under 32 degrees outside in Wisconsin?
People have finally stopped wearing shorts.
Why is it easier to drive in the winter in Wisconsin?
The potholes are filled with snow.
What are the 4 major food groups in Wisconsin?
Cheese, beer, fish and venison.
'Wisconsin: Out-drinking Your State Since 1848'
'Wisconsin: Come For The Beer & Cheese,
Stay Because You Got Too Drunk To Drive'
'Wisconsin: Come For The Cheese, Stay Because Your Car Won't Start'
Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?”
Wisconsin Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
Why is cellphone reception so good in Wisconsin?
Even the smallest towns have at least 4 bars
Why do trees in Wisconsin lean south East?
Because the Bears suck and the Vikings blow
How do you know it's under 32 degrees outside in Wisconsin?
People have finally stopped wearing shorts.
Why is it easier to drive in the winter in Wisconsin?
The potholes are filled with snow.
What are the 4 major food groups in Wisconsin?
Cheese, beer, fish and venison.
'Wisconsin: Out-drinking Your State Since 1848'
'Wisconsin: Come For The Beer & Cheese,
Stay Because You Got Too Drunk To Drive'
'Wisconsin: Come For The Cheese, Stay Because Your Car Won't Start'
Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?”
Wisconsin Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
- Malaria_Kidd II
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- Posts: 3892
- Joined: 11-26-2015 03:51 PM
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Re: Joke Thread In Honor of Old 68
Comedy classic come backs in every topic! Very special place you hail from Riddick! I'm jealous ........
MK II ∆=™®
MK II ∆=™®
[*]@ #2 Find the eerie antedating of 12/7/1941 vs 9/11/01
#1 A
https://youtu.be/DUY8aSx8-yo
#1 B
🏔
https://youtu.be/ajRuvYMk30E
#2
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/superna ... -t543.html
#1 A
https://youtu.be/DUY8aSx8-yo
#1 B
🏔
https://youtu.be/ajRuvYMk30E
#2
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/superna ... -t543.html
Like the Sign Says...
Car dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet--miss a car payment.
Electrician's trunk:
Let us remove your shorts.
Dry Cleaner's Emporium:
Drop your pants here.
Radiator Repair Shop:
Best place in town to take a leak.
On a maternity room door:
PUSH, PUSH, PUSH!
Optometrist's office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
On a fence:
Salesmen welcome--dog food is expensive.
Music library:
Bach in a minuet.
Music Teacher's door:
Out Chopin.
Computer Store door:
Out for a quick byte.
Muffler shop:
No appointment necessary--we'll hear you coming.
Scientist's door:
Gone Fission.
Taxidermist's window:
We really know our stuff.
Podiatrist's window:
Time wounds all heels.
Maternity clothes shop:
We are open on labor day.
Restaurant:
Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.
Cafeteria:
Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
Hotel:
Help! We need inn-experienced people.
Auto Body Shop:
May we have the next dents?
Reception Room:
We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.
Veterinarian's waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
Funeral Home:
Drive carefully, we'll wait.
The best way to get back on your feet--miss a car payment.
Electrician's trunk:
Let us remove your shorts.
Dry Cleaner's Emporium:
Drop your pants here.
Radiator Repair Shop:
Best place in town to take a leak.
On a maternity room door:
PUSH, PUSH, PUSH!
Optometrist's office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
On a fence:
Salesmen welcome--dog food is expensive.
Music library:
Bach in a minuet.
Music Teacher's door:
Out Chopin.
Computer Store door:
Out for a quick byte.
Muffler shop:
No appointment necessary--we'll hear you coming.
Scientist's door:
Gone Fission.
Taxidermist's window:
We really know our stuff.
Podiatrist's window:
Time wounds all heels.
Maternity clothes shop:
We are open on labor day.
Restaurant:
Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.
Cafeteria:
Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
Hotel:
Help! We need inn-experienced people.
Auto Body Shop:
May we have the next dents?
Reception Room:
We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.
Veterinarian's waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
Funeral Home:
Drive carefully, we'll wait.
- Malaria_Kidd II
- Pirate
- Posts: 3892
- Joined: 11-26-2015 03:51 PM
- Location: SW IN USA-UK Midlands SCANIAowner @ Sound Cloud - @ Supernaturalearth
- Contact:
Re: Joke Thread In Honor of Old 68
I like all of them, and they're perfect fits for business signs I expect to read one day! Thanx!
MK II ∆=
MK II ∆=
[*]@ #2 Find the eerie antedating of 12/7/1941 vs 9/11/01
#1 A
https://youtu.be/DUY8aSx8-yo
#1 B
🏔
https://youtu.be/ajRuvYMk30E
#2
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/superna ... -t543.html
#1 A
https://youtu.be/DUY8aSx8-yo
#1 B
🏔
https://youtu.be/ajRuvYMk30E
#2
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/superna ... -t543.html
- Malaria_Kidd II
- Pirate
- Posts: 3892
- Joined: 11-26-2015 03:51 PM
- Location: SW IN USA-UK Midlands SCANIAowner @ Sound Cloud - @ Supernaturalearth
- Contact:
Re: Joke Thread In Honor of Old 68
The Great Chicago Fire must have rekindled and torched my rare entry now missing below. It was more about the sad times each weekend up there since it ended with a chill of reality!
MK II ∆= "JERRY!"
MK II ∆= "JERRY!"
Last edited by Malaria_Kidd II on 11-05-2021 04:52 AM, edited 5 times in total.
[*]@ #2 Find the eerie antedating of 12/7/1941 vs 9/11/01
#1 A
https://youtu.be/DUY8aSx8-yo
#1 B
🏔
https://youtu.be/ajRuvYMk30E
#2
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/superna ... -t543.html
#1 A
https://youtu.be/DUY8aSx8-yo
#1 B
🏔
https://youtu.be/ajRuvYMk30E
#2
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/superna ... -t543.html
Looney Lexicography
Some clever & funny vocabulary twists taken from any word from the dictionary, adding, subtracting, or changing only one letter, then creating a new definition...
Aesophagus: The author of Aesop’s Fables.
Antellectual: Opposed to the use of the intellect or intelligence.
Avalunche: A mid-day meal in Italy.
Behemouth: Too much Botox.
Bincompetent: No longer competent.
Blonder: A mistake only a blonde could make.
Catsnip: Kitty gets spayed.
Comodian: An entertainer whose repertoire consists mainly of potty jokes.
Constiputed: When your computer is all backed up.
Democrazy: The frenzy that people work themselves into during elections.
Disavowel: The disdain felt by the British towards Americans for removing the letter “U” from many of their best words.
Doltergeist: A spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank.
Elepants: Too-tight jeans on broad-beamed people.
Epiphony: The realization that the person you are with is not who they seem to be.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
Guillozine: A magazine for executioners.
Goodzilla: A giant lizard that puts out forest fires by stamping on them.
Hallucidate: When who you wake up with after a night of drinking bears no resemblance to who you hooked up with.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Las Vegans: Love to gamble, but will definitely pass on the buffet.
Meanderthal: A lazy ancestor known for wandering around doing nothing while others hunted and gathered.
Mechantic: People who say they can repair your car, but don’t.
Mulletproof: Bald.
Niagra: A diuretic for men.
Nogotiation: A lose-lose policy-making strategy often employed by elected officials.
Omnimpotent: Unable to do anything whatsoever.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Overslight: Accidental character assassination when the original intent was a mere backstabbing.
Pathletic: Horrible at sports.
Poparazzi: Media members that cover the Pope.
Presidental: A wide grin emanating from the Oval Office.
Prostituition: Working the streets to help pay for college.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Serendopity: A chance meeting between two idiots.
Spinister: A very evil, very old, unmarried woman.
Terriflic: A good movie.
Winobago: Super market shopping cart transformed by a homeless street person into their vehicle of choice.
Whorticulturist: A fancy name for a pimp or madam.
Aesophagus: The author of Aesop’s Fables.
Antellectual: Opposed to the use of the intellect or intelligence.
Avalunche: A mid-day meal in Italy.
Behemouth: Too much Botox.
Bincompetent: No longer competent.
Blonder: A mistake only a blonde could make.
Catsnip: Kitty gets spayed.
Comodian: An entertainer whose repertoire consists mainly of potty jokes.
Constiputed: When your computer is all backed up.
Democrazy: The frenzy that people work themselves into during elections.
Disavowel: The disdain felt by the British towards Americans for removing the letter “U” from many of their best words.
Doltergeist: A spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank.
Elepants: Too-tight jeans on broad-beamed people.
Epiphony: The realization that the person you are with is not who they seem to be.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
Guillozine: A magazine for executioners.
Goodzilla: A giant lizard that puts out forest fires by stamping on them.
Hallucidate: When who you wake up with after a night of drinking bears no resemblance to who you hooked up with.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Las Vegans: Love to gamble, but will definitely pass on the buffet.
Meanderthal: A lazy ancestor known for wandering around doing nothing while others hunted and gathered.
Mechantic: People who say they can repair your car, but don’t.
Mulletproof: Bald.
Niagra: A diuretic for men.
Nogotiation: A lose-lose policy-making strategy often employed by elected officials.
Omnimpotent: Unable to do anything whatsoever.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Overslight: Accidental character assassination when the original intent was a mere backstabbing.
Pathletic: Horrible at sports.
Poparazzi: Media members that cover the Pope.
Presidental: A wide grin emanating from the Oval Office.
Prostituition: Working the streets to help pay for college.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Serendopity: A chance meeting between two idiots.
Spinister: A very evil, very old, unmarried woman.
Terriflic: A good movie.
Winobago: Super market shopping cart transformed by a homeless street person into their vehicle of choice.
Whorticulturist: A fancy name for a pimp or madam.