Joke Thread In Honor of Old 68

~ for laffs ;-> Originally started by Ole 63 - 'Hey, ladies. Get with the program'

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Doka
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Re: Joke Thread In Honor of Old 68

Post by Doka » 07-24-2021 05:20 AM

That is a great post Riddick :D Insanity, the New Normal!
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Wisconsin Jokes

Post by Riddick » 07-30-2021 12:21 AM

Wisconsin, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town’s population.

Why is cellphone reception so good in Wisconsin?
Even the smallest towns have at least 4 bars

Why do trees in Wisconsin lean south East?
Because the Bears suck and the Vikings blow

How do you know it's under 32 degrees outside in Wisconsin?
People have finally stopped wearing shorts.

Why is it easier to drive in the winter in Wisconsin?
The potholes are filled with snow.

What are the 4 major food groups in Wisconsin?
Cheese, beer, fish and venison.

'Wisconsin: Out-drinking Your State Since 1848'

'Wisconsin: Come For The Beer & Cheese,
Stay Because You Got Too Drunk To Drive'

'Wisconsin: Come For The Cheese, Stay Because Your Car Won't Start'

Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?”
Wisconsin Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”

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Re: Joke Thread In Honor of Old 68

Post by Malaria_Kidd II » 07-30-2021 06:01 PM

Comedy classic come backs in every topic! Very special place you hail from Riddick! I'm jealous ........ :D

MK II ∆=⚾™®
.......all wasteful, climate changing wars. Begun again by the Red Blooded Royals, or by a bewitching God-like dictator, or any so called religion, or for any other reasons like a world wide virus pandemic! MK II 4/26/15

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Like the Sign Says...

Post by Riddick » 08-06-2021 12:50 AM

Car dealership:
The best way to get back on your feet--miss a car payment.

Electrician's trunk:
Let us remove your shorts.

Dry Cleaner's Emporium:
Drop your pants here.

Radiator Repair Shop:
Best place in town to take a leak.

On a maternity room door:
PUSH, PUSH, PUSH!

Optometrist's office:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

On a fence:
Salesmen welcome--dog food is expensive.

Music library:
Bach in a minuet.

Music Teacher's door:
Out Chopin.

Computer Store door:
Out for a quick byte.

Muffler shop:
No appointment necessary--we'll hear you coming.

Scientist's door:
Gone Fission.

Taxidermist's window:
We really know our stuff.

Podiatrist's window:
Time wounds all heels.

Maternity clothes shop:
We are open on labor day.

Restaurant:
Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.

Cafeteria:
Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.

Hotel:
Help! We need inn-experienced people.

Auto Body Shop:
May we have the next dents?

Reception Room:
We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.

Veterinarian's waiting room:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

Funeral Home:
Drive carefully, we'll wait.

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Re: Joke Thread In Honor of Old 68

Post by Malaria_Kidd II » 08-06-2021 10:00 AM

I like all of them, and they're perfect fits for business signs I expect to read one day! :D :lol: Thanx!

MK II ∆=⚾
.......all wasteful, climate changing wars. Begun again by the Red Blooded Royals, or by a bewitching God-like dictator, or any so called religion, or for any other reasons like a world wide virus pandemic! MK II 4/26/15

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Re: Joke Thread In Honor of Old 68

Post by Riddick » 08-20-2021 12:34 AM


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Re: Joke Thread In Honor of Old 68

Post by Riddick » 08-26-2021 11:02 PM


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Re: Joke Thread In Honor of Old 68

Post by Riddick » 09-03-2021 02:38 PM


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Post by Riddick » 09-09-2021 11:59 PM

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Re: Joke Thread In Honor of Old 68

Post by Malaria_Kidd II » 09-10-2021 04:20 PM

:oops: The Great Chicago Fire must have rekindled and torched my rare entry now missing below. It was more about the sad times each weekend up there since it ended with a chill of reality! :cry:


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Last edited by Malaria_Kidd II on 11-05-2021 04:52 AM, edited 5 times in total.
.......all wasteful, climate changing wars. Begun again by the Red Blooded Royals, or by a bewitching God-like dictator, or any so called religion, or for any other reasons like a world wide virus pandemic! MK II 4/26/15

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Post by Riddick » 10-07-2021 11:55 PM

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Post by Riddick » 10-15-2021 12:28 AM

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Post by Riddick » 10-22-2021 12:33 PM

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Looney Lexicography

Post by Riddick » 10-29-2021 01:17 AM

Some clever & funny vocabulary twists taken from any word from the dictionary, adding, subtracting, or changing only one letter, then creating a new definition...

Aesophagus: The author of Aesop’s Fables.

Antellectual: Opposed to the use of the intellect or intelligence.

Avalunche: A mid-day meal in Italy.

Behemouth: Too much Botox.

Bincompetent: No longer competent.

Blonder: A mistake only a blonde could make.

Catsnip: Kitty gets spayed.

Comodian: An entertainer whose repertoire consists mainly of potty jokes.

Constiputed: When your computer is all backed up.

Democrazy: The frenzy that people work themselves into during elections.

Disavowel: The disdain felt by the British towards Americans for removing the letter “U” from many of their best words.

Doltergeist: A spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank.

Elepants: Too-tight jeans on broad-beamed people.

Epiphony: The realization that the person you are with is not who they seem to be.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.

Guillozine: A magazine for executioners.

Goodzilla: A giant lizard that puts out forest fires by stamping on them.

Hallucidate: When who you wake up with after a night of drinking bears no resemblance to who you hooked up with.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Las Vegans: Love to gamble, but will definitely pass on the buffet.

Meanderthal: A lazy ancestor known for wandering around doing nothing while others hunted and gathered.

Mechantic: People who say they can repair your car, but don’t.

Mulletproof: Bald.

Niagra: A diuretic for men.

Nogotiation: A lose-lose policy-making strategy often employed by elected officials.

Omnimpotent: Unable to do anything whatsoever.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

Overslight: Accidental character assassination when the original intent was a mere backstabbing.

Pathletic: Horrible at sports.

Poparazzi: Media members that cover the Pope.

Presidental: A wide grin emanating from the Oval Office.

Prostituition: Working the streets to help pay for college.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Serendopity: A chance meeting between two idiots.

Spinister: A very evil, very old, unmarried woman.

Terriflic: A good movie.

Winobago: Super market shopping cart transformed by a homeless street person into their vehicle of choice.

Whorticulturist: A fancy name for a pimp or madam.

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