I didn't write this, but I wish I had. It's good enough to pass on. (This was written for women, but the advice is the same for men -- don't forget your male friends.)
Hugs to all,
Iris
~~~
A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, marriage, about the responsibilities and obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter. "Don't forget your girlfriends," she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. "They'll be more important as you get older."
"No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you'll have, you are still going to need girlfriends. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. And remember that 'girlfriends' are not only your friends, but your sisters, your daughters, and other relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always do."
What a funny piece of advice, the young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! -- a grownup. Surely my husband and the family we'll start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!
But she listened to her Mother; she kept contact with her girlfriends and made more each year.
As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about; girlfriends are the mainstay of her life.
After almost 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:
Times passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Love waxes and wanes. Hearts break. Careers end. Jobs come and go. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Men don't call when they say they will.
BUT girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley, and you have to walk it for yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out. My mother, sister, sister-in-law, "sisters," extended family, and friends bless my life!
The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.
Pass this on to the women who help make your life work. I just did.
To the women of Fantastic Forum
Moderator: Super Moderators
To the women of Fantastic Forum
We must, indeed, all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately. B. Franklin
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Shirleypal
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sayntbrigid
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sayntbrigid
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daboodaddy
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As a female who has observed "couples" men NEED a night out with the "Guys" now and again, as well. NO! They don't usually go holein and troolin at a strip club, they usually end up at a "Sports Bar", NOT a "Girlie joint".
BTW: We ALL need our friends, especially after marriage.
BTW: We ALL need our friends, especially after marriage.
Question EVERYTHING, even your OWN thoughts.
A "Daboodaddyism"
A "Daboodaddyism"
I second that! My men friends are just as important to me as my women friends, different but just as special. I am a human first, then a women. "Women things" are easier for me, to share with women, "human things" I can share equally well with men or women.sayntbrigid wrote: Hugs to all my cyber sisters....and I have a lot of those...
And hugs to my cyber brothers....I have a lot of those too
So personally, I would say it is good to have friends!
PS: I am a piss poor emailer sometimes though! I real bad dog.
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daboodaddy
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daboodaddy
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What a lovely thread and sentiment expressed here! Thank you, Iris! I love you all, too!
In a corner next to the windows that look out on my gardens is a small altar of sorts dedicated to the women in my life. The centerpiece is an antique high chair that was my mother's when she was a baby and that my own baby daughter sat in when visiting her grandmother. On that chair sit two rag dolls I made for my daughter, and above the chair is a child's straw hat that hung on the wall in her room when she was a young girl. Next to the chair are small shelves, each dedicated to girlfriends past and present, and on them are special gifts, photos, and momentos that remind me of each of them (some of you are present there... ). I'm posting a photo below...
On one of the shelves is a book by Carmen Renee Berry and Tamara Traeder called Girlfriends: Invisible Bonds, Enduring Ties. It's a wonderful little book. Each chapter begins with a special quote - some are specific to women's friendships and some apply to all friendhips, regardless of gender. I thought it might be nice if I shared some of my favorites here...
I feel there is something unexplained about woman that only women can explore. ~ Georgia O'Keefe
Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. ~ Anaïs Nin
Gentle ladies, you will remember till old age what we did together in our brilliant youth! ~ Sappho (c. 600 BCE)
No matter by which culture a woman is influenced, she understands the world 'wild' and 'woman' intuitively. ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estés
I often think, how could I have survived without these women? ~ Claudette Renner
Girlhood...is the intellectual place of a woman's life, that time when, unencumbered by societal expectations or hormonal rages, one may pursue any curiosity from the mysteries of the yo-yo to the meaning of infinity. These two particular pursuits were where I left off in the fifth grade when I discovered a hair in the wrong place and all hell broke loose. ~ Alice Kahn
Love is like the wild rose-briar;
Friendship is like the holly-tree.
The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms,
But which will bloom most constantly?
~ Emily Brontê (1846)
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest. ~ Erma Bombeck
I always felt that the great high privilege, relief, and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing. ~ Katherine Mansfield
Trouble is a sieve through which we sift our acquaintances. Those too big to fall through are our friends. ~ Arlene Francis
(This one is my favorite...)
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away. ~ Dinah Maria Murlock Craik
In a corner next to the windows that look out on my gardens is a small altar of sorts dedicated to the women in my life. The centerpiece is an antique high chair that was my mother's when she was a baby and that my own baby daughter sat in when visiting her grandmother. On that chair sit two rag dolls I made for my daughter, and above the chair is a child's straw hat that hung on the wall in her room when she was a young girl. Next to the chair are small shelves, each dedicated to girlfriends past and present, and on them are special gifts, photos, and momentos that remind me of each of them (some of you are present there...
). I'm posting a photo below...On one of the shelves is a book by Carmen Renee Berry and Tamara Traeder called Girlfriends: Invisible Bonds, Enduring Ties. It's a wonderful little book. Each chapter begins with a special quote - some are specific to women's friendships and some apply to all friendhips, regardless of gender. I thought it might be nice if I shared some of my favorites here...
I feel there is something unexplained about woman that only women can explore. ~ Georgia O'Keefe
Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. ~ Anaïs Nin
Gentle ladies, you will remember till old age what we did together in our brilliant youth! ~ Sappho (c. 600 BCE)
No matter by which culture a woman is influenced, she understands the world 'wild' and 'woman' intuitively. ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estés
I often think, how could I have survived without these women? ~ Claudette Renner
Girlhood...is the intellectual place of a woman's life, that time when, unencumbered by societal expectations or hormonal rages, one may pursue any curiosity from the mysteries of the yo-yo to the meaning of infinity. These two particular pursuits were where I left off in the fifth grade when I discovered a hair in the wrong place and all hell broke loose. ~ Alice Kahn
Love is like the wild rose-briar;
Friendship is like the holly-tree.
The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms,
But which will bloom most constantly?
~ Emily Brontê (1846)
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest. ~ Erma Bombeck
I always felt that the great high privilege, relief, and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing. ~ Katherine Mansfield
Trouble is a sieve through which we sift our acquaintances. Those too big to fall through are our friends. ~ Arlene Francis
(This one is my favorite...)
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away. ~ Dinah Maria Murlock Craik
Anchors Aweigh!I love you all too!!
Not to change the subject, Joolz, but you know me, I've got to ask, did you paint that wall? If yes, what was your technique? Or is it a damask wallpaper, or stencilled? It looks great! Your lace curtains are lovely, too. I've got a base coat of beige down in my entry hall now (repainted the yellow out because I didn't like it after a bit), and would love to faux it, but it would require SO much being on a ladder in scary places -- some I just can't reach even with an articulating ladder. That's my latest project, the entry hall. I did get on a HIGH ladder last night and get a curtain treatment up on the window over the front door and sidelight -- a swagged/bunched thing I did with the lace drapes out of my old living room (which I made originally). I couldn't see buying something new, and I love how it turned out. Here's a pic (sorry, hard to take a pic of a window with the light coming in) -- anyway, it was fun and easy, except for the ladder part (ladder still there, visible in lower right of pic -- had to duck under it to get my groceries upstairs - lol!):
I'm glad you passed it on, Shirley. It was sent to me by a dear friend, and it begged to be shared.Shirleypal wrote: Thank you Iris, I have just sent this to a few of my close friends, and I say few because we are very lucky if we have one close true friend and I have three.
Wise words, Daboo. I remember watching a PBS show about an African villiage. The men went out hunting together, chanting their songs as they left -- good male bonding and time to be men. The women did their tasks together, sharing their friendships as they worked -- good female bonding time and time to be women. When the men came back, everyone had meat, sex, and more hands to help with the chores and the children, whom everyone watched at all times. Sounded perfect!daboodaddy wrote: As a female who has observed "couples" men NEED a night out with the "Guys" now and again, as well. NO! They don't usually go holein and troolin at a strip club, they usually end up at a "Sports Bar", NOT a "Girlie joint".
I agree -- we all need both men and women friends, and each enriches our lives in a different way. As some of you may know, I've done some writing. When I do, I like to have both my men friends critique it, as men and women tend to express themselves differently, and I've learned a lot from them.sayntbrigid wrote: Hugs to all my cyber sisters....and I have a lot of those...
And hugs to my cyber brothers....I have a lot of those too
That's my favorite, too! IThank you for sharing those truly lovely thoughts with us, and I love your little corner! That's a great idea. How like you!Joolz wrote: (This one is my favorite...)
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away. ~ Dinah Maria Murlock Craik
Not to change the subject, Joolz, but you know me, I've got to ask, did you paint that wall? If yes, what was your technique?
Or is it a damask wallpaper, or stencilled? It looks great! Your lace curtains are lovely, too. I've got a base coat of beige down in my entry hall now (repainted the yellow out because I didn't like it after a bit), and would love to faux it, but it would require SO much being on a ladder in scary places -- some I just can't reach even with an articulating ladder. That's my latest project, the entry hall. I did get on a HIGH ladder last night and get a curtain treatment up on the window over the front door and sidelight -- a swagged/bunched thing I did with the lace drapes out of my old living room (which I made originally). I couldn't see buying something new, and I love how it turned out. Here's a pic (sorry, hard to take a pic of a window with the light coming in) -- anyway, it was fun and easy, except for the ladder part (ladder still there, visible in lower right of pic -- had to duck under it to get my groceries upstairs - lol!):
Last edited by Iris on 06-28-2005 08:10 PM, edited 1 time in total.
We must, indeed, all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately. B. Franklin
I sponge-painted that wall, Iris. The base color is white, and the beige was dabbed on with a sea sponge. It's fast and easy to do.
I love your lacy curtain, too. Boy, that IS a high window! You be careful doing stuff like that, K?
My whole house is in disarray at the moment. LOL I moved some of my things out of the room my daughter is staying in to give her more room while she is here, and so that I can have access to things of mine I had put in there. This meant rearranging the living room and the little parlor room where that picture I posted was taken. Doing that has made the whole house just a mess! It's like moving. argh... But I'm working on it little by little every day and it's getting better.
I love your lacy curtain, too.
Boy, that IS a high window! You be careful doing stuff like that, K?My whole house is in disarray at the moment. LOL I moved some of my things out of the room my daughter is staying in to give her more room while she is here, and so that I can have access to things of mine I had put in there. This meant rearranging the living room and the little parlor room where that picture I posted was taken. Doing that has made the whole house just a mess! It's like moving. argh... But I'm working on it little by little every day and it's getting better.
Anchors Aweigh!Wow, I am impressed Joolz and Iris! A lot of girly touches you have done. I doubt there has been a piece of lace in my house for at least 40 years.
You guys would probably hate my tiny living space, there is modern sculpture and paintings crammed in here (the rest of my collection is in my dad's attic), and no knickknacks of any kind. I have never done knickknacks, instead I have always had spare, Zen like living spaces, a real minimalist approach with simple furniture, sleek dishes and the like.
You guys would probably hate my tiny living space, there is modern sculpture and paintings crammed in here (the rest of my collection is in my dad's attic), and no knickknacks of any kind. I have never done knickknacks, instead I have always had spare, Zen like living spaces, a real minimalist approach with simple furniture, sleek dishes and the like.
No, I wouldn't hate that, Sandy! LOL It sounds great! My style is really eclectic and combines a lot of different elements. I put all sorts of things together and it somehow seems to work for me. Corvid and I both love antiques and this little (and it IS little) old house seems to beg for a Victorian style and the spirits here seem to prefer a "cluttered" look. heh (Good thing cuz we both have a bad case of packratitis! ) But the Zen style you describe is great, too... and is a LOT easier to keep looking neat and clean. (I HATE dusting with a passion. And then, there's Corvid, who thinks cobwebs on stuff looks cool, so he thinks I should leave the dust and cobwebs alone! LOL Whatta guy...)
) But the Zen style you describe is great, too... and is a LOT easier to keep looking neat and clean. (I HATE dusting with a passion. And then, there's Corvid, who thinks cobwebs on stuff looks cool, so he thinks I should leave the dust and cobwebs alone! LOL Whatta guy...)
Last edited by Joolz on 06-29-2005 03:06 AM, edited 1 time in total.
Anchors Aweigh!