Art Bell's Dark Matter Sept. 25th with Matthew Alper
Moderator: Super Moderators
Art Bell's Dark Matter Sept. 25th with Matthew Alper
A Strangely and Irreverently Brainy
Classic W-B Cartoony Show Parody
-
Offered as a Religiously Lampoony 'Looney
Toonie' Adjunct to the Wed. 9/25 DM Show
To the tune of the 'Pinky & The Brain' theme -
The God Part of the Brain,
The God Part of the Brain...
Some say it's pious and also quite inane!
Both in and out of church,
It works its splendid search
THE GOD PART
The God Part of the BRAIN, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain
Before the day is done,
The prayers will be unfurled! -
By the dawning of the sun?
They'll MAKE OVER the world!
The God Part of the Brain,
The God Part of the Brain!
Its twilight campaign is easy to explain:
So much that God is light?
He hears more prayers AT night!
THE GOD PART
The God Part of the BRAIN, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain...
NARF!
--
TONIGHT'S EPISODE:
"The Church of the Divine Looney"
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering, O.P.?"
"I think so, G.P. But does God really care if we prefer the great taste of Pope-si over all other denominated colas?"
"! That's essentially what I'm pondering, though it IS an odd way of putting it."
"Well, that's what I'm here for - to be of service in your search to answer all life's questions, right G.P.?"
"I suppose that's true - so much as it's said He works in strange ways Himself."
"And that means my special insights can only help bring us ever closer to Him?"
"The fact is you can be quite the distraction at times, O.P."
"Gee, G.P., that's the nicest thing you ever said about me!"
"See there? It wasn't meant to be taken as a compliment."
"POIT! Sorry G.P. Is there anything we can do to fix that?"
"AND why need you ask? REALLY now O.P. What do we do when there's a problem?"
"Ummm... dial up Dr. Phil?"
"THAT quack? Well, you've succeeded."
"ZORT! So I was right the first time! Ha ha!"
"Hardly. All you've done is proved your penchant for ridiculously off the wall notions."
"TROZ! ON the wall is what you want G.P., just tell me which one? I'll get right on it."
"*Sigh* Once again, that's NOT what I meant. Forget walls and focus for a change."
"OK... OH! I know what we do!"
"Good! See, that wasn't so hard. So, tell me then, what is it we do to fix problems?"
"We ignore them and let them fix themselves!!"
"Not even close."
"We leave all our troubles behind and take the easy way out?"
"You're still off-track. Try again."
"We take the last train to Clarksville and we meet them at the station?"
"NO! Whenever we have a troublesome problem, we take it to the Lord in prayer."
"Oh yeah, like we do every night! Right G.P."
"And insofar God always answers prayers, we'll have the solution in due course..."
[Weeks of nightly prayers later]
"NARF! It's been weeks and nothing's changed, G.P."
"Well, that can mean only one thing, O.P."
"And what IS that?"
"God wants us to imbrace your divine looniness. I've already started work on a complete set of dogma for a new religious denomination that will catch on like wildfire and MAKE OVER THE WORLD!"
"OOOooo! So you think it will stand up to the Pope-si challenge?"
"Not only that, I've designing it to include off-the-wall thinking styles from ALL the world's major religions. With cross-marketability like that, The Church of the Divine Looney will take off and rise to the top in no time at all."
[No time at all later]
"Gee G.P.! It's been no time at all and nothing's changed."
"Well, O.P., that presents us with another problem now..."
"God's communication skills have something to be desired?"
"HEAVENS no! It's IN that clearly He's continually opting to work in such strange and mysterious ways as to escape all human ken, such TOTALLY divine looniness will always be outside ANY religion's grasp."
"So what does that mean for us, G.P.?"
"It means no one can know true looniness until the world that comes after this - still, so much as THIS world has issues, we needs take problems as they come and press on. In that regard we must prepare all the more for tomorrow night."
"Why? What are we going to do TOMORROW night, G.P.?"
"Same thing we do EVERY night, O.P. - ask God to MAKE OVER THE WORLD!"
The God Part, the God Part of the BRAIN, Brain Brain Brain Brain - DUN DUN
Classic W-B Cartoony Show Parody
-
Offered as a Religiously Lampoony 'Looney
Toonie' Adjunct to the Wed. 9/25 DM Show
To the tune of the 'Pinky & The Brain' theme -
The God Part of the Brain,
The God Part of the Brain...
Some say it's pious and also quite inane!
Both in and out of church,
It works its splendid search
THE GOD PART
The God Part of the BRAIN, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain
Before the day is done,
The prayers will be unfurled! -
By the dawning of the sun?
They'll MAKE OVER the world!
The God Part of the Brain,
The God Part of the Brain!
Its twilight campaign is easy to explain:
So much that God is light?
He hears more prayers AT night!
THE GOD PART
The God Part of the BRAIN, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain...
NARF!
--
TONIGHT'S EPISODE:
"The Church of the Divine Looney"
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering, O.P.?"
"I think so, G.P. But does God really care if we prefer the great taste of Pope-si over all other denominated colas?"
"! That's essentially what I'm pondering, though it IS an odd way of putting it."
"Well, that's what I'm here for - to be of service in your search to answer all life's questions, right G.P.?"
"I suppose that's true - so much as it's said He works in strange ways Himself."
"And that means my special insights can only help bring us ever closer to Him?"
"The fact is you can be quite the distraction at times, O.P."
"Gee, G.P., that's the nicest thing you ever said about me!"
"See there? It wasn't meant to be taken as a compliment."
"POIT! Sorry G.P. Is there anything we can do to fix that?"
"AND why need you ask? REALLY now O.P. What do we do when there's a problem?"
"Ummm... dial up Dr. Phil?"
"THAT quack? Well, you've succeeded."
"ZORT! So I was right the first time! Ha ha!"
"Hardly. All you've done is proved your penchant for ridiculously off the wall notions."
"TROZ! ON the wall is what you want G.P., just tell me which one? I'll get right on it."
"*Sigh* Once again, that's NOT what I meant. Forget walls and focus for a change."
"OK... OH! I know what we do!"
"Good! See, that wasn't so hard. So, tell me then, what is it we do to fix problems?"
"We ignore them and let them fix themselves!!"
"Not even close."
"We leave all our troubles behind and take the easy way out?"
"You're still off-track. Try again."
"We take the last train to Clarksville and we meet them at the station?"
"NO! Whenever we have a troublesome problem, we take it to the Lord in prayer."
"Oh yeah, like we do every night! Right G.P."
"And insofar God always answers prayers, we'll have the solution in due course..."
[Weeks of nightly prayers later]
"NARF! It's been weeks and nothing's changed, G.P."
"Well, that can mean only one thing, O.P."
"And what IS that?"
"God wants us to imbrace your divine looniness. I've already started work on a complete set of dogma for a new religious denomination that will catch on like wildfire and MAKE OVER THE WORLD!"
"OOOooo! So you think it will stand up to the Pope-si challenge?"
"Not only that, I've designing it to include off-the-wall thinking styles from ALL the world's major religions. With cross-marketability like that, The Church of the Divine Looney will take off and rise to the top in no time at all."
[No time at all later]
"Gee G.P.! It's been no time at all and nothing's changed."
"Well, O.P., that presents us with another problem now..."
"God's communication skills have something to be desired?"
"HEAVENS no! It's IN that clearly He's continually opting to work in such strange and mysterious ways as to escape all human ken, such TOTALLY divine looniness will always be outside ANY religion's grasp."
"So what does that mean for us, G.P.?"
"It means no one can know true looniness until the world that comes after this - still, so much as THIS world has issues, we needs take problems as they come and press on. In that regard we must prepare all the more for tomorrow night."
"Why? What are we going to do TOMORROW night, G.P.?"
"Same thing we do EVERY night, O.P. - ask God to MAKE OVER THE WORLD!"
The God Part, the God Part of the BRAIN, Brain Brain Brain Brain - DUN DUN
Not at all! In fact I consider it an honor that you'd move it here from the general DM discussion thread.Fan wrote: in fact, yes we can Hope you don't mind Riddick.
Interestingly enough, the story just kinda wrote itself last night, after coming up with the theme lyrics earlier... was it divine inspiration? Could be...
OR mebbe just lotsa excess nervous energy from too much full-strength coffee!
As a former club kid Special K user, I can confirm what Mr. Alper is saying about Ketamine. It is indeed similar to what people describe as an NDE. Not quite white light, but the tunnel effect is very much the same. We called it a K-Hole.
"You'll get used to my babbling, all the others have." - Anna Madrigal from "Tales Of The City" by Armistead Maupin