Art Bell's Dark Matter Sept. 25th with Matthew Alper

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Art Bell's Dark Matter Sept. 25th with Matthew Alper

Post by Riddick » 09-25-2013 04:22 PM

A Strangely and Irreverently Brainy
Classic W-B Cartoony Show Parody
-

Offered as a Religiously Lampoony 'Looney
Toonie' Adjunct to the Wed. 9/25 DM Show

Image


To the tune of the 'Pinky & The Brain' theme -

The God Part of the Brain
,
The God Part of the Brain...
Some say it's pious and also quite inane!

Both in and out of church,
It works its splendid search

THE GOD PART
The God Part of the BRAIN, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain

Before the day is done,
The prayers will be unfurled! -

By the dawning of the sun?
They'll MAKE OVER the world!

The God Part of the Brain,

The God Part of the Brain!
Its twilight campaign is easy to explain:

So much that God is light?
He hears more prayers AT night!

THE GOD PART
The God Part of the BRAIN, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain...

NARF!

--
TONIGHT'S EPISODE:

"The Church of the Divine Looney"

"Are you
pondering what I'm pondering, O.P.?"

"I think so, G.P. But does God really care if we prefer the great taste of Pope-si over all other denominated colas?"

"! That's essentially what I'm pondering, though it IS an odd way of putting it."

"Well, that's what I'm here for - to be of service in your search to answer all life's questions, right G.P.?"

"I suppose that's true - so much as it's said He works in strange ways Himself."

"And that means my special insights can only help bring us ever closer to Him?"

"The fact is you can be quite the distraction at times, O.P."

"Gee, G.P., that's the nicest thing you ever said about me!"

"See there? It wasn't meant to be taken as a compliment."

"POIT! Sorry G.P. Is there anything we can do to fix that?"

"AND why need you ask? REALLY now O.P. What do we do when there's a problem?"

"Ummm... dial up Dr. Phil?"

"THAT quack? Well, you've succeeded."

"ZORT! So I was right the first time! Ha ha!"

"Hardly. All you've done is proved your penchant for ridiculously off the wall notions."

"TROZ! ON the wall is what you want G.P., just tell me which one? I'll get right on it."

"*Sigh* Once again, that's NOT what I meant. Forget walls and focus for a change."

"OK... OH! I know what we do!"

"Good! See, that wasn't so hard. So, tell me then, what is it we do to fix problems?"

"We ignore them and let them fix themselves!!"

"Not even close."

"We leave all our troubles behind and take the easy way out?"

"You're still off-track. Try again."

"We take the last train to Clarksville and we meet them at the station?"

"NO! Whenever we have a troublesome problem, we take it to the Lord in prayer."

"Oh yeah, like we do every night! Right G.P."

"And insofar God always answers prayers, we'll have the solution in due course..."

[Weeks of nightly prayers later]

"NARF! It's been weeks and nothing's changed, G.P."

"Well, that can mean only one thing, O.P."

"And what IS that?"

"God wants us to imbrace your divine looniness. I've already started work on a complete set of dogma for a new religious denomination that will catch on like wildfire and MAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

"OOOooo! So you think it will stand up to the Pope-si challenge?"

"Not only that, I've designing it to include off-the-wall thinking styles from ALL the world's major religions. With cross-marketability like that, The Church of the Divine Looney will take off and rise to the top in no time at all."

[No time at all later]

"Gee G.P.! It's been no time at all and nothing's changed."

"Well, O.P., that presents us with another problem now..."

"God's communication skills have something to be desired?"

"HEAVENS no! It's IN that clearly He's continually opting to work in such strange and mysterious ways as to escape all human ken, such TOTALLY divine looniness will always be outside ANY religion's grasp."

"So what does that mean for us, G.P.?"

"It means no one can know true looniness until the world that comes after this - still, so much as THIS world has issues, we needs take problems as they come and press on. In that regard we must prepare all the more for tomorrow night."

"Why? What are we going to do TOMORROW night, G.P.?"

"Same thing we do EVERY night, O.P. - ask God to MAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

The God Part, the God Part of the BRAIN, Brain Brain Brain Brain - DUN DUN

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Post by HB3 » 09-25-2013 05:25 PM

Oh, man...can you just start the thread w/ that?

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Post by Fan » 09-25-2013 06:05 PM

HB3 wrote: Oh, man...can you just start the thread w/ that?
in fact, yes we can :) Hope you don't mind Riddick.
The heartbreaking necessity of lying about reality and the heartbreaking impossibility of lying about it.

― Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle

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Post by Riddick » 09-25-2013 06:52 PM

Fan wrote: in fact, yes we can :) Hope you don't mind Riddick.
Not at all! In fact I consider it an honor that you'd move it here from the general DM discussion thread.

Interestingly enough, the story just kinda wrote itself last night, after coming up with the theme lyrics earlier... was it divine inspiration? Could be...

OR mebbe just lotsa excess nervous energy from too much full-strength coffee!

:beaker:

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Post by Kaztronic » 09-25-2013 09:14 PM

Hello Everyone :)

Hopefully I stay awake tonight!

Stuck in the middle of two work conference, so been waking up super early past couple days.

That Tess Gerritsen interview was a classic.
Image "You'll get used to my babbling, all the others have." - Anna Madrigal from "Tales Of The City" by Armistead Maupin

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Post by HB3 » 09-25-2013 09:16 PM

hey everyone

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Post by rslawsky » 09-25-2013 09:21 PM

I remember the first time Matthew was on. It was pretty contentious.

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Post by Kaztronic » 09-25-2013 09:27 PM

This should be an interesting interview. I vaguely recall his first interview, and remember it as being pretty good.
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Post by rslawsky » 09-25-2013 09:32 PM

It seems like the first time he was on he was mildly rude and came back on a second time to make peace. He may have been on several times after that. I think he just has a Brooklyn sense of humor that has a bit of a bite to it.

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Post by Kaztronic » 09-25-2013 09:41 PM

I'm curious to see if his lack of faith is not in fact a faith of it's own as seems to be the case with many atheists I've met.
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Post by jreading » 09-25-2013 09:44 PM

Kaztronic wrote: I'm curious to see if his lack of faith is not in fact a faith of it's own as seems to be the case with many atheists I've met.


UltraDogmatic. He's a douche...

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Post by Kaztronic » 09-25-2013 09:53 PM

That was a really obnoxious comment about big words.
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Post by rslawsky » 09-25-2013 10:02 PM

That's what I meant about his Brooklyn sense of humor.

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Post by Kaztronic » 09-25-2013 10:07 PM

Oh, us Brooklynites aren't that bad :D
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Post by Kaztronic » 09-25-2013 10:32 PM

As a former club kid Special K user, I can confirm what Mr. Alper is saying about Ketamine. It is indeed similar to what people describe as an NDE. Not quite white light, but the tunnel effect is very much the same. We called it a K-Hole.

Image "You'll get used to my babbling, all the others have." - Anna Madrigal from "Tales Of The City" by Armistead Maupin

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